Tuesday Night Musings:
I'm a control freak. And probably a little OCD. I like to know what's happening, when and how I'm gonna get there.. Ask my BFF about road trips! :D I like to be 'in charge' - the one making the decisions, doing the work and doing it independently. And now that rug has been pulled out from under me! I feel like my secure, predictable little life is upside down right now!
But seriously, this chaos is unsettling. The not knowing how long this will last, will I get sick the next time I go do groceries, when will I see my friends and family again for dinner or coffee? So many questions and so little answers, and the information out there is confusing, conflicting and down right scary. And I know I can't control what other's are doing, my own life is riddled with examples of that.
So what has all this taught me? Surrender. Flexibility. Self compassion and self Love. How grateful I am that I have been doing my inner work. MOST importantly, to embrace down time. I have to congratulate the Universe on showing me that all theses years of promoting self care, 'me time', scheduled downtime and how important it is that we take care of ourselves first, so we can take the best care we can of everyone around us as has come right back and bit me in the arse! Or should I say throat!
I've been, as you know, dealing with laryngitis and some kind of viral illness (not THAT virus) and it's taking me completely off my feet. I had all kinds of plans to 'go live' and lead meditations, show you how to use Reiki to soothe yourself and even started an episode of a new podcast! My job as an RN with Telehealth is completely on the phone. I've been on vacation and now sick time so even my usual work routine is disrupted. And the GUILT.. OH EM GEE. Feeling like I've let my co workers, our callers at work and my community and followers/friends down by not being able to step up right now has been awful. The feeling that I've let my daughter down by not keeping my usual level of cleanliness at home. I feel a mild depression / blueness creeping in over the last week or so, and that makes things harder. I'm pulling out all the self care tools I know, dusting them off, and working to transmute the negative/low vibration to higher ones as best I can.
Well guess what? I can still 'go live' when I'm better, after I rested. A friend of mine says never to give from your cup, but to give from the overflow in the saucer. This is what I'm doing. Refilling my cup and letting my cupeth runneth over! The house is still standing, the kids, my fur babies and I'm still alive and well. Everyone is okay, despite my perceived lack of doing what I usually do! *MIND BLOWN* in the best possible way. There are alternatives to doing things the 'usual way' .. i'll be damned! LOL!
We will NOT be the same people at the end of this, whether for the good or not so good. We can choose to grow, expand our self care tools and reach new levels of self awareness or we can let this destroy us. This is the best time to create new, lasting healthy habits and coping skills that will carry us through the rest of our lives. If we can make it though THIS period in history, well Dear Ones, we can handle anything that Life throws at us after this!
I believe what is happening right now will become a new reference point from which we will compare other crises
we find ourselves in the future. I think we will re-define what a 'crisis' is for us. I believe we will know who and what is TRULY important in life. Hug a little tighter, love a little harder, forgive a whole lot more. It will be easier to distinguish a true need from a want. A necessity vs a luxury. As Within, So Without. Mother Nature is taking this time to heal herself, don't you think you deserve to take this time to do the same?
Reiki Love'n'Blessings Dear Ones.